How to Overcome Sufferings in Life

There are five stages to overcome sufferings in life. The first stage of the five stages is denial. At first man denies the fact that the person has moved away from his or her life. In case of failure, people deny the fact of the whole failure. In other words, in most cases people can not take this fact that they failed.

This denial is not only in the face but also in the mind, he wants to believe it. Although he understands that the distance is being created, he wishes to believe with passion, this distance is temporary, one day all will be alright. Although he fails to understand, he wants to think forcibly that this failure is temporary and it will be all right soon.

In this stage people can understand the denial and there is no profit to deny. The incident is really happening. He really failed in this particular matter. He's lost the man. At this moment he becomes very angry. That step has been called Anger.

At this time people feel angry at the person leaving him, feeling angry. This anger comes from rigorous behaviour, arguments, hitting tendency. The other side is either severely hit or completely ignored. Whenever there is a problem in the failure of some work, most people are angry at the work that comes in the rage. Many people are angry with those people who work with them to do his job. 

Since the work had ended and the results did not come well, so there is no special gain by rigors. And when the work is done, do you blame if the chance comes back? So this phase of rage ends one day.

One day when people see that their anger is not working. Nobody is able to see the undercurrent of their rage, and then it comes in bargaining tendency. It's called bargaining stage. People at this stage want to negotiate with the other side, but with some concessions, the other side wants to come back. If there is a temporary solution, after few days he gets annoyed with the deductions given by him, and he seems to have deceived him.

 The feeling of being lost is naturally quite deep in the mind of the lost people.

At one stage, the man gives up. Depression comes at this stage. Depressed people understand only what is depression. Not only about the relationship that is being discussed this time but also people are indifferent to many more. He can not find any meaning in his life and his work.

During the step each person has different types of complexities. Someone has less, some has more. But the fourth step or depression that lasts most in the lives of people. If you get out of it, you can get out of this flowchart. Those who can not, we find themselves committing suicide because of failure in love or in any work.

This step is called depression or sadness which is long lasting even though it is possible to overcome from this situation with his own efforts and with the help of his closed one. However, many people go to chronic depression. If there is no expert help on time, the person will be subjected to intense deliberations at any time. That is why we have to learn how to  overcome pain and suffering.

Fifth, when the last step of the depression is over, people accept at one point. He accepts that people can go away from life and the sooner they can cope the better. He admits that failure will come and he will accept this failure as quickly as possible and learn from it as much as he can to become successful. This step is called Acceptance. This accusation comes to this stage and does not have much trouble as before, but if you remember or remind me a little bit!

Anyway, to overcome any difficulty, agony, loss and trouble people have to undergo these five steps. It's a sort of process. The negativity in you is shivering. If there is a step left then there is a possibility of losing the balance. After going through all the steps, we see the golden period.

Life and Story

 Teacher’s Lunch

There was a teacher in our class who used to bring very delicious lunch to school every day. Smell of the yummy food of kebab or tandoori chicken used to come out his bag and those of us sitting in the front row used to die of hunger smelling it. We used to crave to have a single bite of it. One day, some us planned to steal the teacher’s lunch and for that we kept a close watch on him that day. We waited for him to leave his bag in the teachers’ room and go out. One of us instantly ran into the room, no other teachers were there and exchanged hid food with what one of my friends brought. The teacher later came back and probably never realised what we did with his food. We all later had an awesome time having his meal!

Party Blow

It was my cousin’s birthday. It was her first birthday party, celebrating her third birthday. In the evening, we prepared everything and called her. She stood on a chair and the cake was in front of her on a lower table. I lit up the candles and switched off the fan. Everybody, who was standing around the table, told out to blow out the candles. But she didn’t understand at first. After sometime, she smiled and said that it was easy. Then she dipped her mouth in the cake and tried to put the candles out. The cake was spilled on all our face as well as hers. Our beautiful dresses got spoilt. We were for a moment, very annoyed at such behavior. But then, all of us, including the three year-old child, burst into laughter. It was a very funny incident. Even when I recall it today, I laugh out loud.

 Victory Day

On our victory day I was strolling around the busy road of Dhaka near Dhaka University and saw a speeding car with our national flag on its bonnet, which make me think of something. Our epitome of pride is our national flag and it must be upheld with respect. This flag is not merely a piece of cloth, rather a true mixture of colours that signifies thirty million people who sacrificed their lives. Some of the so-called upper class people like to celebrate this victory day as any other day partying with friends. It is a day to be inspired, recalling the martyrs’ sacrifice, appreciation of liberty and liability to carry it out. But again it’s our own mishap that we still do not recognize ourselves. We carry our own identity as foreign supporters do for their favourite teams in sports. Can’t we uphold our identity with self-respect? Doesn’t this day inspire us to do so?

Paying to Go Home

After Eid when I got on a rickshaw one day and started towards Rifles Square in Dhanmondi, where my friends were waiting. The streets were still empty and it was turning out to be a joy ride. That was when my friend Salehin called me my cell phone and asked me to meet at the Dhanmondi Lake and Rifles Square. I asked the rickshaw puller to take me to the lake instead of the mall, when Salehin called again to let me know that no one will be going to the lake. The gang head now decided to stick to meeting at Rifles Square .irritated at the constant changes that were taking place, I asked the rickshaw puller once again if he could stick to the original point, when he informed me a stern tone that would take me wherever I wanted to as I pay him his dues. Humour struck and I asked him if he could take me all the way to “Amrika” (United States Of America) The rickshaw puller   said nothing, but parked his vehicle at the side of the street turned towards me and scowled, “I could not go to my village this Eid because I could not afford bus tickets for TK.300 a piece,” he retorted. “And you are talking about going all the way to ‘Amrika’?” After venturing out his frustration, the rickshaw puller   started towards Rifles Square once again.

Songs of Innocence

Nowadays, playgrounds are rare in urban areas. Beside our house there is an open space, where our neighbours’ children play. The other day , while I was watching them play happily, running around in what is the only open space in the neighbourhood, the landlord, who usually doesn’t even notice them passed by and started shouting at them and asking them to go home. The children looked broken hearted as they left to go home. This left me thinking, is it fair for our future generations not to have a space where they can enjoy nature and breathe fresh air?

Unusual Feast

A few days ago, it was almost midnight and I was returning home after work. It was the day of our glorious victory day and everywhere I could feel a sense of celebration. The air of winter was announcing its pretense powerfully. I was walking beside a community centre not very far from my residence. Suddenly a big crowd attracted my eyes. It was quite an unusual scene. I became curious and went to see what was up. Within moments everything became very clear to me. A man selling leftover food which he must have collected from nearest community centre and there were many poor people who were enjoying it at a very low price. Mainly rickshaw –pullers, day labourers and street urchins were consuming it. The fragrance of the food was all over the area. I saw a very small kid eating it happily. Suddenly I felt very bad after many years of independence, we could not provide the most basic need of our common people—food!

Material Boy

Every year I come back to Dhaka for the holidays and find a city that is somehow changing constantly while simultaneously never really moving forward. What stands out to me is the vigorous pace this evolution of lifestyle exclusively applies to the elite of our country. In a conversation I had with one my old high school friends I ran into at a cafe, she was casually joking about her two-year-old nephew refused to get into any other cars in their house except his maternal grandfather’s, a former BGMEA tycoon S-class Benz. Even though everybody else found this story very entertaining, it failed to humour me. Was I being judgmental towards a tiny toddler’s naivety? Or was I simply worried about how this illustrated very clearly how far removed members of our upper class are getting from the reality in which we live? We are spiraling out of control into a culture of materialism that will surely isolate us further from the mass population. It gives a glimpse into a future that horrifies me, one where the leaders and the rich will be even more irresponsible. I hope my pessimism remains a fear that does not have to be confronted.

Ghosts Exist as They Did in The Past

When I was a child, I used to get afraid of ghosts. People in villages often tell many stories about them. They say that in a particular tree of this or that area, or this or that bush, there lives an evil ghost, or a benevolent one. When dusk falls, when the day hastens to become night and trees get silhouetted against the sky, the vision of dark trees getting darker on the horizon used to filter a ghostly feeling in me.

It is said that during night-time, some even heard, in a particular tree, the moaning cry of a ghost turned so because the person whose ghost it was had died an unnatural death by committing suicide. I could not go through such an area, because of fear.

Even if I went through such a place with my elders at night, I used to grab them by my hands, lest a ghost or two jump at me from the nearby bush. Later when I grew a little bit older, I learnt to dismiss ghosts as mere superstitions like others. I used to taunt those who still believed in them. I became so courageous – not without fear of course! – that I could stay, like Srikanta of Sharatchandra Chattyopadhya, in the dark village graveyard with numerous unknown sounds of insects at night, betting with my boyhood friends, who still could believe that ghosts existed. My fear in the grave-yard was, however, generated by the poisonous reptiles and insects. The village graveyards were so bushy with numerous holes!

Prince Hamlet of Shakespeare had also seen a ghost, his father’s ghost, at the palace. His father was killed by his uncle who afterwards married the queen, now a widow, Hamlet’s mother. The ghost of Hamlet’s father enjoined the shocked and grieving prince to take revenge upon his killer brother who had unjustly captured the throne and married his wife.

Well, in Elizabethan England, Shakespeare could use such supernatural machinery, because then, the Shakespeare scholars have found, people still used to believe in ghosts. A modern reader of Hamlet, very justifiably, may find it difficult to accept this supernatural scene in the play. But to me, the scene does not appear unrealistic, if not rational. I don’t call the scene irrational either. There are many things that happen in the world which our rational mind is incapable of explaining. They are ever shrouded in mysteries. The ghost sighting scene in Hamlet and the madness of Hamlet later in the play have a sound psychological as well as spiritual basis. And human psychology and the world of spirituality are so unfathomable that our rational mind only touches the surface of them, cannot reach the deepest deep of the matter. Freudian critics have tried to explain the case of Hamlet, but I think they have not succeeded.

No, still I don’t believe in those stories of ghosts, that I used to hear during my child hood. I still reject those stories as mere super stations. But I am inclined to believe, or rather I am forced to believe, that ghosts and spirits exist, in the world beyond the natural and temporal, the world unknown shrouded in mystery, a holy mystery inviolable and unfathomable. And why? You are a ghost standing there or walking there in your flesh and bones. The ghosts inside you are commanding you to do this, don’t do that. Yours may be a ‘good’ ghost or an ‘evil’ ghost, a harmless ghost or a harmful ghost. The very ‘you’ is your ghost, the very ‘I’ is my ghost, and ‘we’ are our ghosts.

Mystically transformed, - indeed it is mystically there from time immemorial – this daily and mundane world of ours turns into a world of spirituality, a noble creation of Allah, for a definite and set purpose.

To many an intellectual, both of the east and the west, religion has become some sort of superstition nowadays, and rejecting religion – as I rejected the childhood stories of ghosts – has become a fashion to them, who are working as forces of disintegration, both at the individual as well as social levels. It is time to exorcise bad ghosts from the wrappings of bones and flesh.

Flower Power Short Story

 I was stuck in traffic in front of Sonargaon hotel, when I saw a very sweet-looking girl selling flowers on the street. I stopped her and bought a flower from her, giving her a tk.20 note, the flower was only tk.4 so she ran off to get the change while she was returning the traffic started moving and my driver had no choice but move forward. I figured my money had gone with the wind. However as I looked back, I saw the girl running after us. My driver stopped near the curb and she ran up to my window and handed me the change. I was so touched. It is amazing how even when faced with poverty, some people can still remain honest, while privileged people often tend to be dishonest and greedy. Just a thought..

An Ordeal

Last week I experienced an ordeal which I was always wary about when I ventured into the streets. I was going to my office from Kazir Dewry to Agrabad by rickshaw and the traffic was moving but slow. My rickshaw was passing a bus, when I felt something wet drop on my arm. I looked at it and screeched. Some uncouth person from the bus had spit out of the window and the bomb landed on me! I was so revolted at the sight I felt like cutting off my arm. I had to go back home for a shower and was inevitably late for work. I never understood the habit of Bangladeshis spitting in all directions every five minutes.

 Bargaining

Bargaining is truly an art. I realized how much of an art it was once when I went to new market with my friend one day to buy some clothes for him. A lady was there with her teenage son, who was looking somewhat self conscious and also a little embarrassed. At first we could not figure out the reason behind the boy’s wary glances all around, after a little while we have no doubts as to why he was feeling like that. We guessed that the boy was leaving for college soon and that was the reason behind the buying spree. The lady was going around from one shop to another and asking prices of almost every clothing article there was. After the shopkeeper said the price, the woman looked clearly shocked, no matter how reasonable it was. And she didn’t stop there. She went a further step and asked the shopkeeper if he would give the item for quarter of the price. The shopkeeper looked extremely irritated and said a big no. This continued for a while and in vain. Nothing seemed to satisfy the woman and the poor boy seemed to grow more timid at every shout his mom gave to the shopkeepers. A small crowd had also started gathering around to watch her. It was enough for us. We decided to leave the scene immediately.

Broken Heart

I am a 17-year old boy. I am going to take my O level exams in 2019. I have been studying at a coaching centre for some time now. I have many friends there, both male and female. From among those girls there is one girl, Susmita that I have fallen in love with. I don’t know how she feels about me but I want to tell her about my feelings. My problem is that I am shorter than she is. But without her I won’t be able to succeed in life. Please tell me how can get my confidence back.

Great Confusion

I am a 29-year old man and I have completed my post graduation in mathematics. I have a female friend who has also completed her post graduation in economics. She is a very good friend of mine. She has a younger sister who is a 2^nd year student at university. She is very pretty. A few months ago we fell in love with each other. We had decided to get married. But the problem is that recently I came to know that my friend is also very much in love with me and wants to marry me at any rate. But I have always thought of her as just a good friend and I do not feel anything else for her. I just want her younger sister. Will this be unfair? Please advise me on what I should do?

At a loss!

I am a final year BCom student I adore a girl that I used to know in school. I could not tell her about my love when we were in school. Afterwards I wrote to her saying that I idolized her and I would marry her after I got established. She responded positively and since then we have been writing to each other .It has been approximately three years since that and now we live far away from each other and hardly ever meet. Still I adore her so deeply that I feel that she is beside me all the time. But now she is old enough to get married and I am still in no position to marry her. But it will be very difficult for me to live without her. Please tell me what I should do.

Darkness Conundrum

I am a twelve- year old girl. Recently I have joined in a new school after studying in Sylhet . I think that I am very ugly. I have big teeth and I am very dark and fat. That is the reason that the girls in my class don’t like to make friends with me. I feel very lonely at school and also very upset when I see others talking and laughing.  Sometimes I see girls pointing at me and giggling. I cry every night before going to bed because of these things. I hate going to school for that. I don’t even feel like studying.  I think the teachers hate me too. My mother tells me to go and make friends but I am scared of the girls. What can I do?

Personal Affair

Bothered

I am a 19 year old man and I have started getting into trouble with everyone. I tend to get into fights with everyone. This is not an exception for girls. When they say something stupid I always get angry and it gets unpleasant. So I am not making any progress with girls. Every ones I like I drive away. So tell me, should I try to be more understanding and control my impulses just to keep a pleasant atmosphere? I mean, I can never be hypocritical and my frankness always leads to unpleasantness. Please tell me how should I behave, this is really bothering me.

Marriage Conundrum

I am 30 year-old woman. I got married three years ago and I have a pretty good relationship with my husband ever since. My husband’s brother is 2 years older than him and married my best friend. My friend and I were very excited we had a double marriage at the same place and were looking forward to some really happy times after our marriage. But my mother in law from the very start made it a point that she didn’t approve of either the two marriages. My husband’s family is well established and as such they have a lot of help around the house. The week after we were married my mother in law fired all of the hands except the driver and the guard because she stated that since the daughter-in-laws are home they wouldn’t need any work done by strangers in the house. Neither of our husbands obviously agreed to this and the hands were called back. But that was just the beginning. Every day she finds new complaint for one of us. Since my father-in-law is not alive we cannot even leave her in a house alone and live separately. She emotionally drained us completely. Please tell us what we can do.

Troubled

I am a  25- year-old girl and have been brought up by my parents who have had a very troubled marriage. I don’t want to go into the details of how it was for me, I can just say that I was badly affected and started to hate them. Since I didn’t have anyone to go to I started taking drugs with some friends of mine when I was only sixteen. I have also been in and out of relationships during this time. I have been to rehab many times and I guess I am okay now. I am going out with a guy now who is a year older than I am. He is very nice and witty , but the problem is that whenever I try to talk about my past he stops me and says that he doesn’t want to know about it. But I can’t really go on with him unless I openly talk about what I have been through. The life I had still troubles me now, I have nightmares from time to time. I feel very frustrated when he won’t listen to me about this and frankly I really just need to get it all out of me. Please tell me what should I do, I have very few friends, and none of my relatives like our family.

Helpless

I am a 26- year-old man studying in IBA on a part time basis. I got married two years ago with a woman I was having a relationship with. Many people said that I made a mistake by getting married because my father-in-law and other relatives of my wife did not accept our relationship. My parents also pushed me to away from them because I married without their consent. Now I am living with my wife away from my parents. I am passing my days in misery because my beloved wife is not happy with my income. She does not particularly like the fact that I am still studying. But to be an MBA is my only ambition. If I want to engage all my time to earning money, I can, but my desire to be an MBA will go in vain.  What should I do? Should I quit my studies? Please help me.

Betrayed

I am a 17- year-old girl and have just finished my A-levels in January of this year. Before I appeared for my exams , my parents promised me that I would be able to go to abroad for my higher studies  if I did my A-levels . I even appeared for my SAT and TOEFL and managed to achieve quite good scores. Now after I have finished my exams they are telling me that I am not mature enough to go and study abroad and I should dismiss such thoughts and think about getting into a good university here. When I asked them about their earlier promise they say that I can go abroad to do my masters. I feel totally betrayed and do not wish to study in any universities here. I have promised to do very badly in all the entry exams they make me give here, but that is not going to solve my problem. Tell me what should  I do?

 Puzzled

I am a 16 years old. I have been going out with a boy who is twenty years old for the past six months. My boyfriend, John had an affair with a girl before going out with me. When I asked him about her he assured me that their relationship didn’t mean anything to him and he loved me with all his heart. On his birthday last month, he was presented with a large bouquet from his ex-girl friend. When I asked him about it, he said I shouldn’t be worried about such things because he didn’t love her anymore. But a few days ago one of my friends saw him with her going somewhere on a rickshaw. When I asked him what was going on, he said since she was a classmate he was just accompanying her to a place they were invited to. I don’t want to lose him because I love him very much but at this rate I don’t think I can hold on to him much longer. What can I do?

Frustrated

I am a nineteen years old and have been married for a year under some pressure from my parents because some goons in my neighbourhood were disturbing me. But now I find life extremely difficult to handle. My sister-in-laws are always picking on me about everything I do. They will find a mistake at every opportunity and my husband is mostly at his office and thinks that it is my fault that I cannot communicate with them. I have even heard them complaining about me to other people behind my back. Sometimes I feel like killing myself. All this pressure is very difficult to bear. I have tried really hard to please them but they just cannot stand me. It seems that they had chosen one of their friends to marry my husband to, but he chose me and that is my sin. What can I do in these circumstances?

How to Inspire Ourselves

Inspiration is a word that is very vital in achieving success in our lives. Inspiration is the key to success. Most of us can not realize how much the power of inspiration is. Inspiration gives us the ability to work. Inspiration drives laziness from our body and mind and encourages us to do hard work relentlessly. And makes us fully active. Then we never lag behind in any work and we go ahead with great enthusiasm. The inspiration behind work acts as fuel to do something great and outstanding. And if we lose inspiration, we also lose everything. Inspiration enhances our confidence. And if we believe in ourselves, no obstacle can defeat us. But for some reason if we fail for the time being, the motivation power helps us get back to the right track and do more hard work. If there is any inspiration in the work, success will come in that work.

On the other hand, people lose their self-confidence without inspiration. So, they lose interest in their respective work. Then the job seems a burden. Self-confidence and inspiration are the key tools of success in life. Those who do not have inspiration, they can never achieve success in any work. As a result there is a lack of confidence in them. Sluggishness grasps his body and mind. Our thoughts become negative. And then they feel drastic emotional pressure. That makes our beautiful life burdensome.

Change what you say about the purpose behind any action. For example, you might have been able to understand yourself behind school going so long that if you do not go to class you will be driven out of school or can not pass in the exam. Or you have to explain yourself as a reason for going to regular classes so that you can succeed in your career. And if you give this understanding in your work life, then you will get the inspiration to do your work.

Because if you do a specific reason behind why you are doing the job then you have the urge to do that work. And because of this, you will be encouraged to know yourself. If there is a specific reason behind the work, you have persecution in order to finish the work regardless of the situation. On the other hand if there is no reason or you do not set the reason for it, then there will be uneasiness towards your work. Laxity will increase in your body. So change the way you talk to yourself before you go to a job, do your work with your benefit. And this understanding will give you more inspiration and you do well.

We often make a big mistake by comparing ourselves with others. If we are as good as ourselves from our position, our eyes are on our side who are better than us. And that exactly ruins our joy and pleasure. Because we forget that we are very happy with our position. Then it becomes the most important of us to compare ourselves with them. His car is more expensive than my car, he is making more money than I, more happiness than I in his life etc.

It is again seen that the person you are thinking about is making the same thing again with his senior person. And this is how the cycle of destroying happiness continues. And that's why no one can be happy with their position. On the other hand, if you compare yourself with others, your self-confidence will be ruined. And your ability to progress will be reduced. Because you will be frustrated by the success of others.

And once the frustration surrounds you with its wall, and then it becomes difficult to get out of the wall. So, we should try our best to get ourselves out of our respect. Then there will be no shortage of self-confidence and inspiration will also be abundance. And at the end of the day your success is sure.

At one point I have already discussed that the purpose or purpose of your work is to understand your soul. Then your motivation will drive you to do that work. But if you do not know the purpose of that work, how will you make understand your mind, right? So try to understand why and for what you are working for. And if you do not know the reason, then find out it. Before leaving your work, first think why you are doing the job. What is your profit by doing this? And when you find the answers to these questions, take the job. Because you will not have any benefit in doing unprofitable work and in the middle of the work you will lose the inspiration and will also fail in that work. So understand the specific goals of your work and the purpose behind it. This is the best way how to inspire ourselves to our study or any work.

Keep track of your daily progress. This will bring you great benefits.  If you write daily work schedule in your diary, then you can get your inspiration from seeing the list of those activities every day. Seeing your achievements will increase your confidence. One study found that people were more inspired and worked hard after seeing the progress of their work in the past. So write your daily work in the diary. As your encouragement increases, you can move forward in the next step of success. That is why you should know how to inspire yourself every day.  It will increase your confidence that you are able to work long. And if you increase your confidence, the level of motivation will increase. And at the end of the day you will reach the corridor of success, depending on these two.

The burden of criticism of the attack of arrows that did not hit the arrow. Every successful man's life was initially criticized. But they did not stop. That is why we can enjoy this beautiful world today through their relentless work. Criticism will come in the way of life. And we must continue to accept it. But many of them do not stop doing their own way of fear of criticism. And there ended their innovative thinking, if they did not stop thinking of criticism,

If people did not think that they would say, then their inventions might have made our world more complicated. But critics do us a favor by one day. Because there are two sides of criticism a negative one and more positive one. If you think of its positive side and overcome your weaknesses, then success is a must for you. So instead of getting the fear of criticism, take it as challenge and try to overcome your weaknesses.

Most of us have a sense that if we want to finish work fast or to achieve success in the work, we need to work harder, even then our performance is improved. But this thought is completely wrong. No, I'm not forbidding you to work. Because there is no alternative of hard work in achieving success. I'm saying that there should be limitation of your hard otherwise it will create adverse impact on our body and mind. Because if you spend a lot of time in a work and do not take any breaks, then you will not be able to do that work. Then sluggishness will terribly encircle you. There will be a lack of inspiration. A persecution of working after leaving the job will work inside you. Then it will be seen that after working one day more, the work has not been done for the next two days. Then you will be in danger. So if you do not want to lose the work enthusiasm, then you have to set a certain time limit for daily work and break it. Then the work will be completed by inspiration.

Spend time with more intelligent people than you. By doing this you benefit yourself. Your knowledge store will grow. Many things can be learned while spending time with them which will be useful in the way of life. Do not forget that knowledge is always powerful. Having spent time with the wisest people, it is known to everybody that the state of knowledge will increase further. And a good solution to your problem will be achieved by discussing with them. And the most important thing that you gather when you keep in touch with them is  you can understand your own weaknesses and know ways to overcome them which is not possible by the company of fools.

People are concerned about habit If you develop the habit you will automatically follow the principle of that habit. Habits are essentially controlling people. And the controlling power of building that habit is in your hands. If you build a good habit, they will be useful in every step of your life. So make your desired behavior a habit. Then achieving success will be easy. For example, you might like to read. Then develop regular practice periods of time. This will increase your knowledge base. So, develop some habits that are good for you, good for your workplace and that will make you a good human being.

The path to success is never easy. There are many problems in the way. And you can not escape from the problem. You have to face those problems and have to overcome them technically and intelligently. If there is a sudden  problem in our lives, we all become nervous. There is no time to prepare to deal with it. Then there is fear of failure which results in frustration. So think about the problem of work that will help you think beforehand. Think about what problems you may face. Then you can be prepared to face that problem and you will be confident that any problems you are facing can actually be tackled. Because if you are already ready to face any problem, then you can easily fight against it. But if you do not think there will be any problems then you will be in danger.

You have probably heard that "life is like an experimental journey, not a destination." But if you concentrate not only on the final destination of life but focus on this experience then you will be able to enjoy life more.

Ultimately, inspiration actually works as a burning flame for our success. So inspire yourself. Because the confidence and inspiration will help you to reach the ultimate destination of your success.

The Romantic Story

SHAMMI woke up that morning feeling as detached as if she were a character in a short  and not a real girl waking up on an important, heraldic day. She was getting formally engaged today, and instead of excitement she only felt a vague urgency to settle some unfinished business, probe a dully aching tooth in her life.

Perhaps she should put her thoughts on paper, write out a letter but to whom? Or may be she should attempt a short story? As a prodigious reader of romantic fiction she often wished she had the gift of writing and could have written a story for the magazine for which her best friend Asma’s brother Ahsaan often wrote. Today, she wished she could have written something that would have earned her his eternal admiration, even a nod of acknowledgement from him. Oh! He was so bright and talented and well…. Handsome to boot. Everyone wondered how in spite of being a busy medical student in his last year he still found time to be creative.

She once told Asama, in the hope that it would reach his ears that she thought Ahsaan’s fiction was a bit like him: intelligent but grounded too much in reality. His characters were idealistic and impassioned enough to seem terribly romantic but were too much in control of their emotions to give in to the wonderfully irrational realm of the heart. She sighed now .It was a pity that Ahsaan’s stories, though intellectually and technically polished, were…. Dare she admit it dry and boring? But, naturally, Shammi read them anyway and quite avidly too; She world read even a medical treatise signed by him.

Apart from the fact that over the years he had often lent her books and magazines , engaged her in casual conversation while helping (or rather, scolding )her in maths , and had once used her name in one of his stories , Ahsaan  seemed hardly aware of her existence. But where could she file away the odd memory or two when she could swear he was alive to her, fully conscious of her like the time they had found themselves squashed together on a crowded car trip to Khulna, with long miles of cringing, sparking, pent up closeness on their way to the Sundarban cruise, or that year on Eid ….

Shammi caught herself sighing a second time and scolded herself for thinking about Ahsaan on the day of her engagement to Jamal. Goodness! She was going to become a Mrs. Haque. Was that the spelling? Or was it Huque? It definitely was not Huq, of that she was sure. She reached for the jar of Uptan and marched to the bathroom.

The other family members seemed to be out in preparation for the events of the evening .Shammi dressed carefully and went down to the flat immediately below to look in on Asma. The maid opened the door. ‘Afa has kelash this morning.’ Of cause ,how could she forget that Asma had Psychology class on Thursday , Shammi made a gesture of slapping her forehead , but she still lingered at the door taming her freshly shampooed hair , waiting for Bua’s next word; ‘But Bhaiyya is here…..

‘Oh! Good. Then I’ll just say hello to him, ‘Shammi breezed in and walked up to the study door more boldly than she felt. Though he knock was timid her laugh was hearty and carefree when she entered and greeted Ahsaan as he half turned his tousled head towards her from his desk.

‘well, well, well, if it’s not the bride –to be ! There were shadows under his eyes but he gave her a crinkly smile as he scrutinized her. Shammi’s mouth went dry but her attitude was arch. ‘I thought I’d look in on the Daaktar Shaheb and see what new frontiers of literature or medicine you were pushing.

‘In fact, will you believe it , I was just thinking about you .’ Shammi’s heart pounded as she found the voice to speak: Really? And why pray is that?

‘You see, I am in the death throes of finishing a story for next week about a girl who is getting married , and I need some in –put from you…..

‘Aha ! Finally a romantic story?

He shrugged. ‘I don’t know, I mean, who the hell knows what’ romantic’ is .Anyway , maybe you can help me. I am having problems with the ending. I don’t want to make it happy and unreal or sad and real.’

                        ‘Why not happy and real?’

                        ‘I can’t .Doesn’t fit in.’

                        ‘Fit in with what?’

                        ‘With reality, conventions, the way things happen in real life, you know….

‘But its fiction, for God’s sake! Why should it have to be real . It can be anything you want to make it.’

‘No, dear girl, that’s life you’re talking about, not fiction. Only in life theoretically –you have the freedom of choice and action. Fiction works within boundaries. You see,. Life can be conducted in creative ways by individuals who have the courage and conviction to make or break conventions and seek their own truths, find their own paths. But the ‘reality’ of fiction, the limits within which the fiction world operates so that facts and events appear plausible, can’t be tampered with too much. I am not talking about innovative narrative techniques but the reliability of fictional truths.’

Shammi shook her head and released a roomful of fragrance. ‘This is too complicated, and you are too analytical .I am a simple girl who relies on her senses and instincts, I don’t understand you.’

‘Or maybe you don’t want to understand.’ Ahsaan looked at her thoughtfully then turned his chair fully to face her as she sat at the edge of his bed. ‘Listen, let me present you the simple predicament of the story, and you tell me how you’d solve it.’

‘What’s the story about?’

‘A girl ….’

‘Pretty?’ He rolled his eyes and laughed, ‘shop interrupting. Yes , pretty. Like you.’

Something ached inside her and out of the blue she wondered what it would have been like to be kissed by him. But she looked blandly at him as he toyed with the mouse on the pad and continued. ‘It’s actually a rather trite story. Here is a girl who has a crush on a boy but she never expresses her feelings .Her wedding is arranged to a man whom she meets and likes, but her feelings for the first boy are still unresolved.

‘And the boy?’ Shammi whispered, her hands clenching. 

‘What about him? His feelings towards her are irrelevant here. The story is about the girl….’

‘No, wait .That’s not right, that’s completely askew.’ She almost got up in her agitation.

‘Will you just let me finish? So, the day of her wedding dawns and she finds herself alone with him , and she has this desire to let him know how she feels about him and to …’ ‘Shammi stood up , ‘I don’t want to hear his story.

‘Why?’ Ahsaan rose and came to stand close to her.

‘You’re right .It is trite and silly.’

‘You haven’t even heard the extent of its triteness.’ Ahsaan laughed.

‘Oh I know , next you’re going to say that the girl wishes to have some sort of …physical encounter, a souvenir of …of this ‘infatuation’ to help her decide right?’ Shammi stammered angrily.

‘Perhaps ….Hey , why are you mad?’ Ahsaan leaned forward and touched her hand .

‘Because you are derisive and mocking and presumptuous and arrogant and …. And a terrible writer. You should just concentrate on your dissections and leave romantic stories to those who understand about feelings. And you Know something, if you thought even for a moment that I had a crush on you, you are mistaken. You think too much of yourself. If anything I hate you!’

In the time it took her to swallow her tears and turn to run out Ahsaan had grabbed her and gathered her to himself.’What a silly girl you are.’ He said over and over as he kissed her.

‘So how would the story end?’Shammi asked as they came up for air. ‘You tell me.’ Ahsaan stroked her hair. Shammi sighed, ‘It depends on the boy, how he feels .’Ahsaan looked into her eyes and said clearly: ‘No ,it doesn’t .Even if he does love her back , it’s only the girl who Knows what to do , what step to take .’

‘Would calling off the wedding guarantee that the girl and boy would guarantee that the girl and boy would eventually be happy together, or happy and together?’ Shammi spoke half to herself. Ahsaan held her silently offering no reply.

‘Ahsaan, tell me honestly, would you commit yourself to me if I broke up with Jamal today?’

‘In good fiction, it would be highly unrealistic if I said ,’Yes , I VOW eternal love .Give up everything for me.’ It would be expected that a medical student with a long way to go would out of his love and consideration tell his lady love ‘I can promise nothing’ and leave the story again in the hands of the girl.

‘But in reality? Today, now , what are you saying to me?’ Shammi clutched at his shirtfront and shook him .Kissing the top of her head, Ahsaan sighed , ‘The answer would be the same.’

Shammi abruptly released her hold and walked out of the room .Ahsaan slowly went back to keyboard and typed out the conclusive paragraph of his story: She went back to her room and hid her face in the pillow, crying bitterly. She had made the right decision. She would have to forget him and just cherish the memory of the kiss. At least she had that. Perhaps over the years the significance of this day would be revealed to her. THE END.’ He sat back, his cold heart clenched like a face about to cry.

Shammi went back to her room and taking the pillow from her bed, punched and pummeled it was she making the right decision? Could she forget him and live on the memory of the kiss? Over the years the significance of this day would be revealed to her, and it would be too late .She was not some heroine in a short story bound by the stale conventions of perceived reality. She was not a writer of realistic fiction but a reader of romantic fiction .Yet, she was no ordinary woman. No sir .And by god! Her life was going to be every bit as romantic as the unrealistic , light hearted fiction she loved.

She took up the phone and called up her mother on her cell phone: ‘Ammu , please don’t be angry. But something has come up and we have to rethink the engagement.’

‘What? What the hell is this girl saying? Whatever happened?’ Her mother’s voice was hysterical . Shammi gulped. ‘I’ll explain please just come home .Please.

Then she went over to Ahsaan’s study. She didn’t bother to knock. He was learning back in his chair at his desk, his eyes shut . She cleared her throat and smiled from the doorway. Ahsaan stared at her for a while then held out his arms. As she came to him she laughed: ‘Your short story maybe finished Daaktar Shaheb, but mine is about to start.

10 Ways to Be a Happier Person

Joy is the driving force of life. And this joy comes as an outcome of happiness. In this self-centered world our activities are just for our happiness. In the hope of achieving happiness, people struggle so much in the way of life. Nobody takes steps for sorrow. Everyone is struggling so much for the beauty of the bliss of happiness. Ask who wants to be happy in life. You, me, we all try to be happy in our life. We all hanker after happiness.In total; we do all the things in our daily life with the hope of happiness. No one will want to bring any more sorrow into life, will you?

If we live a happy life then our life is filled with joy and pleasure. The way of our life becomes colorful. Then there was a skyscraper and confidence in the strength. Besides happy people live for a long time. Optimism and positive thoughts help prevent heart disease and increase the resistance of our body. So it is very important to establish yourself as a happy person in life.

Do not be Lonely, Find a Partner

Loneliness will take away the joy of happiness from your life. Although the loneliness seed does not spread its roots first, it gradually extends its strength and grasps us mentally and physically. After that there are many problems. So do not be lonely, do not make the mistake of planting loneliness in the life. Keep your relationships alive. Because relationships help people to be happy. Those who keep a close relationship with different people in the society, they stay happier and better than others and live longer. Intimate relationship with friends and family brings love and survival to life and builds self-confidence. Make your relationships stronger, develop new relationships. It is very important to be happy.

Do Something for Others

Helping others is the key to happiness - it gives us more happiness, makes us more healthy. Because our hearts are happy when we help others. If we do something for others, we feel proud of ourselves and this gives us the eternal joy in our life. Believe me, if you buy any gift for you mother or father with your own money, this will bring great pleasure for you. Your heart will be full of joy. And this joy can bring tear of happiness to your eyes. In addition, if we do g anything for others, it will make our relationship stronger. As a result, the benefits of the society in general are good, everyone is happy. In all cases the question is not money and money. We can help others through time, ideas, labor etc. So do something good to get mental peace. Then you can feel happiness subconsciously.

Take Care of Your Physical Fitness

We live in our bodies at the end of the day. If your body is not good then no matter what you do. The body and mind are intimately related to each other. If the body is active then the mind is also happy, the health is good. If the 'mood' is good then you can also get out of mental exhaustion. Moreover, he who is not cared for himself can never go ahead because he cannot take care of himself, how will he take care of others or work? And the biggest thing is to take care of yourself for happiness. When we are physically and mentally fit, our self-confidence increases. So take care of yourself and every day you can do some simple work.  Go out of the room, take fresh air and sleep enough.

Set the Goal of the Choice

A positive attitude about the future is important for the happiness of the mind. All need some goals for their motivation. But they should not be unrealistic. Otherwise, there will be unnecessary 'stress' or emotional stress. If the goal is set in consistent with the ambition and the framework of the realities, life will be guided in the right direction. If you can fulfill that goal, satisfaction and pleasure will come. On the other hand, success is not possible without a specific goal. And goals are like the stairs of success which you will achieve one after another. And the goal is to bring people to the edge of success. And by achieving success, who does not you enjoy happiness and joy? So it is important to set a goal of choice.

Be Aware of the Surrounding World

Have you ever felt that there is more to enjoy in our life? The good news is that there are more things to enjoy in our life. We must understand that by giving a pause for a moment in our life. Increasing attention increases the good feelings in all areas of life. There is no remorse for the past if you are aware of the present time, there will be no worries about the future at all. And if you only think about present, you can enjoy your life because the main reason for the disappointment of the people is to keep the past and think about the future. These two things drive away the happiness of most of the people. So it is important to be alert nowadays so that you can not touch the pain of the past and the anxiety of the future.

Positive Thought

Positive emotions like joy, gratitude and satisfaction are not good for just a while. If these feelings come back to life frequently, the life becomes more and more enjoyable. Positive thinking bears a lot of power. It makes people's confident and strong. As a result, inspiration is found to be 100%.And if these two foundations are in the right place, then at the end of the day, happiness smiles on your face. There are happiness and sorrow in life but focusing on the good aspects of any situation is really beneficial. Seeing half of the pot is good, half is not empty.

Do Not Stop learning

Education is the backbone of human beings. Just like a man can not stand when the backbone breaks, so can people not prosper in life if they stop learning from life. Happiness does not come to his life and life becomes very dull and gloomy to him. Education has a positive effect in the case of happiness and well being of a person.. New ideas come to mind; help us to be curious and active. Education gives satisfaction to mind, enhances self-confidence and power. There are many opportunities to learn new things - such as new skills, language, games, songs etc. This will enrich our ways to stay happier. 

Learn to Wake up Again

Everyone's life has 'stress', loss of something or someone, or other is bad experience. Our happiness depends on how we deal with them; we do not have to be good at everything. In our lives, in most cases we can not decide for ourselves. But we can decide our attitude about what has happened. According to a recent report, to like many things resistance can also be learned.  This will boost our ways to happier living.

Be Content with Yourself

Nobody is perfect. But we often compare ourselves with everyone else. If you do not own it, it's more headaches. And these thoughts take our happiness away from us. Due to the frustration, these thoughts start to grow. If we are not satisfied with our own position, it is difficult to be happy. So we should think more about what we have. Especially in difficult times, if we learn to accept it and feel more compassionate to ourselves, then we will have joy in life. It would be easier for us to accept others as well. So, we have to learn ways to be happier today. 

See Yourself as Part of a Larger World

The person who sees the meaning of life, he is much happier. His mental stress, fear and depression levels are also low. Religious beliefs, being a parent of a child - even new jobs can bring meaning to life. This feeling is different for everyone. But in every case this feeling comes that we are only a part of the larger world.

In the end, I would say that happiness and sorrow is the epitome of money. Do not get frustrated if you get saddened, do not stop being frustrated. There is no point in stopping life for these trivial reasons.